Geek Advice

I like to read The Hollywood Machine's (THM) blog. It is funny, smart, wise-assed, immature, insightful, and informative. Also I feel a kindred spirit with him since I too suffer from some sort of work related impulse control and am relieved to know I am not the only one.

He recently posted a funny, kind, and honest plug for his friend's book. The friend is a former Golden Gloves fighter and wrote a book that was critically well received. I wrote THM a comment about it, and also attempted to take the opportunity to pick his geek brain about blogging. This guy cracks me up.

Lana Wood wrote...

1)Oh come on now, you know when us women aren't impressed about the Golden Gloves and the book he tells them that he was your roommate in college to seal the deal. :o) Really, how many people really know THE Hollywood Machine?

2) Are you ever going to finish the story about the Standard? I hope this is not another one of your meaningless sex stories. You have an awful lot of sex for an alleged geek. Just saying...

3) Do you know if there is any way I can quickly learn HTML?

4) Hypothetically speaking, if one were to start a blog, can one selectively delete comments from mental midgets etc? Can you recommend a way I can, hypothetically figure this stuff out?

5) Why am I asking these questions of some strange man on the internet? My friends will point and laugh if I discuss this with them. They will think I have lost my last marble for wanting to write like this. They will not get it. Please do not say I need new friends. Everybody has secrets, this is one of mine. Also, you crack me up.

THM Wrote...

Lana,

Hello, my dear.

It's early, eh? Here are my responses:

1. The Hollywood Machine has had about 700 readers per day for a couple of months now. A drop in the bucket by "waiterrant" standards, but, obviously more than a few. Actually, I owe a large portion of my readership to 'The Waiter' and I'm very grateful for it because I really don't enjoy writing in a vacuum. Some people don't mind it, but that's not me. In the REAL world, I have very few friends, but they are exceptional people.

2. I might finish my story about The Standard. And, no, it's not a pointless sex story. Maybe that's why I didn't finish it. Just kidding. And, yes, I do have a lot of sex for a geek. But geeks are "in" now, haven't you heard? Or maybe they're "out" already. I'm not sure anymore. I'll check with Paris Hilton. Or her dog.

3. Learning HTML for blog purposes is sort of a waste of time. You should sign up with Blogger, first, where everything is pretty much done for you. Then, as you want to change bits and pieces of the blog to include things like picture headers, links to other blogs (like The Hollywood Machine, for example), you can do so at a nice, even pace. Learning HTML 'fast' is not advisable. It will puff up your cheeks like a chipmunk and make your eyelids feel like they've got mini-barbells on them. Your forehead will get crinkled lines it it from all the frustration. Don't do it. But the most common things that you would want to do with HTML are fairly easy to learn.

4. Another good reason to use Blogger. You can have comments set to "Screen, first." You can even have them emailed to you for approval. That way you don't have to deal with a bunch of mud-sligging which can be detrimental to the writing process at times. You can also disable comments completely. It's a good option, sometimes, especially if you're overly sensitive. That's part of the reason I disabled comments for so long. Stuff like that can take the wind out of your sails. But now I enabled comments because my balls are firm and healthy and have a nice rosy glow to them. I'm more interactive with people, in general, and less of an 'island', if you will. I decided to take the good with the bad as far as comments went. Both can help, actually.

5. You are asking these questions to a strange man on the Internet because, clearly, you are attracted to The Hollywood Machine--I mean, me--and my salacioius and warped mind. Don't feel shy about it. It's only natural to like The Hollywood Machine--I mean, me. He's sensitive, yet, manly at the same time. He can cut a video of your birthday party that will make people squeal with delight. And, then, he'll lay you down in the bed and make YOU squeal with delight. That meant penetration by the way. Or the rapid tongue thing. Or both.

6. Whoops, there is no "6."

7. Thanks for writing in.

8. I'm gonna get some coffee from Starbucks.

9. Whoops! Starbucks isn't open right now.

10. Damnit.