Thursday, September 14, 2006

Magic 8 Ball

I have a Magic 8 Ball. I refer to it as the executive decision making device, mostly because it pisses people who take themselves too seriously off immensely.

Picture of Magic Ball 8 from Wikipedia.

I ask the magic 8 ball all kinds of stuff.
  • Will I ever meet somebody I want to marry? (You may rely on it.)
  • Should I change careers? (Signs point to yes.)
  • Is this a good plumber? (Yes definitely.)
  • Should I start dating younger men? (As I see it yes.)
  • Should I start dating shorter men, meaning lower my minimum height requirement {5'10"}, not men shorter than me {5'4"}? (Outlook good)
  • Magic 8 Ball, should I get a boob job? (Reply hazy try again.) (Outlook good.)
  • Magic 8 ball, how about an eye job? (As I see it yes) Ok, that just cracks me up. Get it, "eye job", "as I see it"?
  • Is it wrong to think Keanu Reeves is delicious? (You may rely on it) - Not sure if this means he is not delicious, or that I am wrong to objectify him. If it is wrong I don't want to be right.
  • Should I get a new job in my current career for now? (Outlook good.)
  • Will I find a job that does not suck ass, on a hot day? (Concentrate and ask again.) (Signs point to yes.)
  • Is porn really as funny as I think it is? (Outlook not so good.)
  • Ok then you humorless fuck, is porn as boring as I think it is? (Signs point to yes)
  • Will I ever finish renovating my house? (Concentrate and ask again.) (Yes.)
  • Will anybody GOOD every love me again? (Ask again later)
  • Seriously, really, where the fuck do all these fucktards come from, and how do they find me? For clarity, will anybody GOOD every love me, and by good I mean, I notice they love me and l LIKE it! (Yes definitely.)
  • Should I get a creative commons license, or something before I spill much more of my guts? (Yes definitely.)

Magic 8 Ball, you rock!

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