Friday, September 29, 2006


I have several nieces and nephews. Most of them are grown adults. One is married. Another is a parent. I took care of most them very often as they were growing up. Lots of my friends have kids. I like most of the kids most of the time. I'm not their parents so I do not have to pretend they are perfect little angels, and not sometimes annoying little shits. It is pretty neat to watch them turn into individual people, and see what they learn and how they learn it. I am a sucker for Girl Scout cookies, wrapping paper, and any other thing the PTA has them hawk. I go to preschool graduations, dance recitals, and school plays. I do not have kids of my own. I am 99.9% sure I do not want kids of my own. I have ended more than one really amazing relationship because of this fact. My house is not child proof, my car is not child proof, my life is not child proof, and I am definitely not child proof.

I hate breeders. These are aggressively reproductive individuals. Those who demand to know why I have no children, why I want no children, as if this topic is any of their deranged business. Those who bring their children to places utterly inappropriate for children, and then are shocked that their children’s antics are not found charming and adorable. They complain when there are not accommodations available for their children at these venues. They complain about the risqué subject matter of my conversation when they plop their kid next to me at 9 PM in a fancy restaurant. . They bring their kids to my house and let them slam my glass doors on my entertainment center, rifle my china cabinet, and attempt to asphyxiate my cat, and get huffy with me when I tell their demon spawn my kitty does not want to play with them.

Truly, I believe it is not my place to discipline anyone’s children, and I really like children. It is the parents that piss me off. Children do what they can get away with; they are children after all. That is why the alleged adults who are responsible for them have to teach them no means no, we are not able to touch, play with, break, eat, or otherwise fold spindle and mutilate anything we please whenever we please. Parents do their children a great disservice by not providing their kids with boundaries and consequences for unacceptable behavior. Why the hell do people care if their kids like them? Seriously lady, if your four year old is your best friend, you need some help. It is not your job to be your kids buddy. It is your job to make them feel loved, and safe, and to teach them to function in the world. They can like you when they grow up and realize the fact you told them freaking no once in awhile was good for them. The fact you made them and their siblings figure out who gets to play with what when on their own so they could learn to successfully negotiate and handle conflict. The fact that you made one dinner, and tough shit if it they hate peas so they could learn to be flexible, try new things, and realize that the world does not cater to their whims.

I am utterly stunned by the behavior of some children. I have seen and heard children call they mothers fucking bitches, and hit them. I have seen children tell their fathers to go fuck themselves. Are you kidding me? What on earth possesses someone to tolerate anyone, especially a child you are supposed to be raising, to treat him or her like that? When did abusive behavior become acceptable? Please do not tell me they learn it from TV. First of all TV is PRETEND. Second of all, if your child watches television and then behaves badly in an attempt to ape the behavior on TV, why dontcha do something radical like talk to your kid? Maybe play with your kid, or do something besides plop them in front of the TV so you do not have to deal with them. I get that being a parent is a very tough job, that is just one of the many reasons I do not wish to become a parent. However, if you are a parent, being a parent has to be your priority. Yes, it is important to do things for yourself as well. But, you need to be there for your kids. You need to be sure they can feed themselves, and dress themselves, and read, and write, and do math. You need to make sure they are learning to cope productively, you need to make sure they are learning to be a good friend, and recognize people who are good friends. You need to grow up.

1 comment:

hammer said...

AMEN! Couldn't have said it better myself. I have zero tolerance for poor behavior and if my kids act up they know its a reflection of me as a parent and shit rolls down hill.

A little investment in discipline and consequences goes a long way in being able to take my children out to eat or to visit friends and relatives.