Restless

I’ve always had what can best be described as freakish sleeping habits. Over the years this has been a source of great amusement to my family, friends, and a boyfriend or two. I have been assured time and again that I do indeed NOT snore, but that I do talk a blue streak. Apparently whatever I am discussing cracks me up since I laugh a lot in my sleep too, allegedly. When I was a kid I used to sleep walk, but evidently outgrew it when I was a teenager. I used to wake up in the strangest places within the house. Often I would be in my siblings’ rooms. Oh, the horror! What greater indignity for them than to suffer hideous little sister cooties in their sleep? Sometimes I would be in my grandparents’ rooms, sometimes my parents'. Sometimes I would be under the kitchen table with the dog who enjoyed my unexpected company much more than my older siblings. Most often though, I awoke in the only bathroom in the house usually because I was in the pathway to the "throne", or somebody wanted to use the tub. There’s a theory about this. In cold weather it is the warmest room, since it is a small room with its own heat register in front of which I was regularly found sleeping. The tub is cast iron and on hot summer nights, snuggling up in the tub was a cool and refreshing treat.


I’ve never needed an alarm clock. As a child, I never had a bedtime. It seemed to my parents no matter how late I stayed up bouncing off the walls, or how early I went to bed, sometimes mid sentence, I always woke up in time to go where I had to go in the morning. This is a facet of the freakish sleeping I still endure. No matter how restless a night I have, or how little sleep I get, I always am up in time for work, or whatever else I have planned to do. I have an alarm clock now, but I use it mainly to see how much time has elapsed to since I woke up the last time. Sometimes I sleep for hours at a time. Sometimes, I sleep like a "normal person" and go to sleep and stay asleep all night. Usually I wake up a lot. I do not know why. I am not hot, or cold, or hungry, or thirsty, I do need to empty my bladder, I am not being robbed, nor is the house on fire. I just seem to frequently wake up for no apparent reason. Usually I go back to sleep pretty easily, but sometimes, like tonight, no. I am so freaking tired, yet wide-awake. I have done laundry. I have caulked. I have done dishes. I have looked at a bunch of blogs. I have watched NYPD Blue and X-Files reruns. I have read news. I have read Vanity Fair articles. Still, I am not able to sleep. I moved back to the house I grew up in a few months ago. It is in a relatively suburban area. It’s quiet and peaceful. People are friendly. I mow the lawn. When I moved out on my own a long time ago, I moved to the city. I slept pretty well there. All kinds of things were always going on, sirens, traffic, music, people doing God knows what. Now, I lie awake at night and hear crickets. Fucking nature!