Disillusionment

Sometimes I am just so disappointed.

I want to believe as a rule that human beings recognize occasions and rise to them.

Today makes me sad because we have the anniversary of an occasion to which we all rose, like 9/11, like the bombing in Oklahoma, like the Indonesian Tsunami, like so many things that are thrown at our feet by a constant barrage of sound bytes, and news clips perpetuated constantly through all the forms of media that are literally at our finger tips. The thing is it seems that we often subscribe to interest in these tragedies until the next one comes along. It is like our humanitarianism has a short attention span. Like we have no follow up, no accountability to each other, no depth of interest in anything beyond ourselves.

On a smaller scale, it seems like we are not really involved with or aware of the inner workings of the lives of those we hold near and dear. No matter how long you know someone or how "close" you are, or how much time you spend together, it seems no one can really know anyone. Because we all view the world through the prism of our own experiences, we view everything, including each other, uniquely. It seems like the more I hope to find "like minded individuals" the more isolated I feel. It seems to me often that my world view is so utterly warped from the alleged norm that I feel like I do not have anybody to talk to, not even the people who love me.

I have a lot of expectations of other people, but nothing less than the expectations I have of myself in relation to other people. I expect when I directly tell people who purport to care for me about something they do, or do not do, that is hurtful to me, that they will stop or start doing it posthaste. It really pisses me off when the people who I feel like are my support system are the ones about whom I need to be supported. So, I am disgruntled, with no hope of becoming gruntled soon. Some things, no matter how trivial, are important to me, and I am mad that my peeps dropped the ball.

Meanwhile, back to the aftermath of Katrina, people in Mississippi and Louisiana still are homeless, penniless, and hopeless. That is pretty fucked up here in the richest country in the world, with the best infrastructure in the world, and the best military in the world, dontcha think? Do what you can, even if all you can do is pray, do it. Do something, anything; buy an extra can of food for your local homeless shelter, clean out your closet, volunteer somewhere. Just do it. Take responsibility for your fellow humans and stick to your commitment damn it.