Tuesday, November 16, 2010

You're NOT Fat!

I have been writing elsewhere, and communicating elsewhere for awhile. I will talk about it more later in this blog as I work through the 30 days thing, but here is something I wrote that someone asked me to publish here.

The discussion was about people saying "you're not fat" to those of us who patently obviously are fat, or in cases like mine seriously freaking fat.

Here's something that happened to me;

One day at work I somehow managed to get cajoled into saying precisely why I was not romantically interested in a former coworker. This was all done in a girl talk super funny ha ha situation during which we were behaving incredibly irreverently and pretty much drawing and quartering all the men with which we were mutually acquainted as well as various and sundry notorious and/or famous men including our current and former presidents. I had been relatively quiet the whole time, as I am notoriously discreet. Now this particular co-worker was someone who I had considered a friend until he and I had a falling out. Additionally, he did actually have a pretty nice bod, and definitely a very nice tush. So, people were mystified as to why I had "absolutely no use for him" when he so obviously had a thing for me, and followed me around in the drooling puppy dog fashion.

"I guess I'm just a stuck up bitch," I said.  I joked a bit more and then just spewed. "Well, for starters, that drooling puppy thing, only endearing in puppies, he's indiscreet, ..., ..., ..., and I don't like his teeth..."

"Wow," it was said jokingly and lovingly, "you really are a stuck up bitch."

"Told ya." I said facetiously

"That is so mean."

"Oh well, I said, I am entitled to like what I like." "Hell, I know I am a great catch, but that does not mean all men have the good sense to adore me." "Some men think I am too smart, some think I am too stupid, some think I am too ugly, some think I am too pretty, some think I talk too much, some think I am uncommunicative, some don't like my religious point of view, some don't like my political point of view, some don't like me because I am fat."

"HEY, you're not fat, you're so pretty!"

"Ah, I said, yes I am fat. It is just a descriptive work , like black, or white, or blond, or tall, it just describes a physical characteristic." "You guys love me, so you think fat is not a word for me." "That is because we all think fat = bad and/or ugly." "It doesn't, it just equals fat."


Fat is not a bad word, it is a true word. I believe that when someone tells we who are fat that we are not, what they are saying is that you are not gross, you are not unacceptable, you are OK, you are worthwhile. Because most of us no matter our size have a lot of issues with fat, and think it is a horrible terrible thing to be. In our society fat is a very negative word. It is a bad thing to be, so when people say I am not fat, they are saying I am OK.

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